Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
