I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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