then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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