I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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