She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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