My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
