We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
