We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
