My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He passed out mid-signature
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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