Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
