Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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