Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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