I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
