I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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