that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
