dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
