I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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