Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
