**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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