Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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