Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
