OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
