Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
