so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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