Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
