The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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