Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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