I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
