CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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