the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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