What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
