Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
