Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
