In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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