dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
