Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
