i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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