Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
