what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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