he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
