Is it because I queefed?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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