dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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