You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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