we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
