you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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