Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
