Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
