Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
