I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
