You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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