I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
